ramble

I am lost in you

and i care not.

even though 

you are false. 

*sigh*

I'm so stupid. 

I'm so torn. 

I love him. 

I know he loves me, 

but

 he's not here

and you are. 

(sort of)

He loves me, 

but

He doesn't say 

(anymore)

how

pretty

smart

funny

beautiful

I am 

(anymore).

I know he still feels that-

but you

say

it

and it's only words

(and nothing more)

and it makes all the difference.

I don't know if you're 

heaven sent

or 

from the other guy, but

you make me feel 

a way

that i haven't

in a long time.

It' s so dumb.

'Cause i know better. 

It's wrong

and 

I know better.

What a distraction you are.

My common sense goes out the door, 

And you make me feel sixteen again. 

Much like he did, 

before. 

You are 

dangerous. 

And yet

I cannot resist. 

Please, 

don't destroy me;

Or help me

to destroy

myself. 

My First Love

You were my first love. 

In times of distress, you have always been there. 

Others have left you for bigger, newer, faster things.

They change, yet you, you remain the same. 

You comfort me. 

I love your smell. 

The way you feel. 

The front of you.

The back of you. 

The inside, or essence, of you

keeps me effortlessly entertained. 

What would I have done without you all these years?

You helped me escape

when times were rough. 

You created worlds with me.

Those worlds will forever belong to only us. 

I shall not leave you behind 

as others have.

You have been my most consistent companion. 

You have made me feel different emotions

from elation to depression. 

And yet, I thank you for that. 

No matter what happens, 

no matter what becomes

"mainstream"

in this world.

I shall remain with you,

My first love,

the written word-

THE PAPERBACK BOOK.

My first love. 

I am not a delicate flower

I am not a

delicate flower

I am not 

the weaker sex

I am not 

overly emotional

or 

inherently illogical

I am strong

I am

rational

I can be

aggressive 

"When I need to be"

However

as a 

modern woman

I also

have

a choice.

A voice.

I can be 

strong

rational

aggressive

assertive-

Unless 

I choose

to be 

a delicate flower.

Then I can be

The power

lies in 

the choice. 

Cinnamon Coffee scrub for dry skin.

Reuse those coffee grounds!

Hi everyone!

This past winter I have been experimenting with a body scrub for my chronically dry skin. And I kinda have a thing for exfoliating. I know it's weird, but I thought I would overshare. 
It seems that using a scrub would be detrimental to my skin, but after perusing Pinterest (my new addiction), I found one that works wonders. I use it once or twice a week, and the difference is amazing! 
So if any of You deal with dry skin, this scrub really works! 

Ingredients:

• 1 Cup of Coffee grounds (you can reuse the ones in your coffee maker, just make sure they are dried out as much as possible)
• 1/2 cup of sugar (white or brown)
• 1/2 cup of Epsom salt (Do not substitute regular salt!)
• 1/4 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or any good carrier oil)
• 1/8 cup of Cinnamon (or any other tingly smell good spice you like. I'm going to try ginger next!)

Mix the dry ingredients first, then add the oil until you get to a consistency you prefer. As you can see, there is a lot of room to add your own personal touches to this Scrub recipe. And I feel good that my old coffee grounds are being somewhat recycled! The hubs and I drink so much coffee, that it seems like a shame to throw all those grounds out.  And the Olive oil soaks into my skin before I even get out of the shower. This is not a tub scrub, you need the shower head to rinse off well! This will keep for quite a while, but I generally try to keep it no more than a month. 

Happy scrubbing!

Uncertainty

Life in itself

is 

an adventure.

Who in their right minds

wants to know

what 

tomorrow brings?

A little 

uncertainty

makes life 

interesting. 

People say in 

hindsight

"I wish I had known"

But

if things

-experiences-

good or bad, 

do not occur,

how can one

grow from 

missed

occurrences?

If  one could

-and would-

choose to bypass

certain happenings in 

life,

Wouldn't it be 

like

tearing a page

out of 

a book?

Which is Worse?

I don't know what's worse.

Is it the fact that 

You try to make me feel 

less than

because

I 

am not

thin

or blonde

or 

supermodel beautiful

or 

video vixen thick.

My hair does not grow

down 

it grows

up and out

I don't have the 

cute lil button nose

or flat abs

I 

am not

the girl on TV
or 

In the magazines 

or in the 

Music Videos

I was feeling pretty good

about me 

and my brains

and my heart

and the love I give

until

you felt the need to 

bring out 

what I 

am not.

So what is worse?

Is it worse that 

you

(mistakenly)

feel 

that I am not beautiful;

or 

that 

for a 

brief moment

I 

allowed you to 

make me

feel 

the same?

A good song...

What is it? 

What is it about a good song

that invokes a feeling?

Any feeling. 

Why?

Why is it that

Whatever feelings there are

there is a song that will 

match it.

Even if the words are not especially

profound

A song can say a lot

without

unprofound words.

Ahhhh....

It is music.

The music

can invoke the feelings

and match the feelings

wordlessly.

There is no good song

without music, 

because in music, 

one can hear

the voice

of angels.

It's Not Easy...

I suppose if it were,

I wouldn't be here;

neither would you-

there would be no us

no fuss.

But if it were easy

would we take it for granted?

I suppose we would.

Not to say that it is always hard,

but it is not 

always easy.

I get angry with you

and I want to leave

but I watch you sleep

And I know you are  

 so worth it.

I am worth it.

That is why you're still here.

That's why there is 

 still an us, and 

The fuss.

It's not easy.

But it is mostly good.

You are my husband.

I am your wife.

This is our marriage. 

And

It is worth it.

Product Review:Cantu Shea butter leave in conditioning repair cream

So. How do I say this? Hmmm. I am in love. Yes,Yes, with my husband, he's aiight, but I am talking about a new hair product. It this new (to me, anyhow) Cantu Shea butter Leave in Conditioning repair CREAM. I capitalized the word cream for a reason. Allow me to explain.

I have been looking for a good leave in for quite some time. I know that most of my fellow hair lovers prefer to leave in a little bit of their regular conditioner, but I wanted something that was marketed as a leave in. Just one of those things. Anyhoo, I tried some liquid leave ins. And let me tell ya, my 4b/c low porosity hair LAUGHS in the face of liquid leave ins. Not just regular laughter, but the maniacal, points and scowls and BWAHAHAH type laughter.

But I digress.

I must admit that I have walked past the Cantu line quite a bit in the past, because, well, I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with me. My friends are all like, "Get it! You'll love it!" And I'm like, " Yeah y'all say that about everything." No seriously, they really do. And only ONE of them has natural hair, but whatevs. One day I walked past it at Wally World (Walmart, for all you non-hipsters out there), and I noticed this CREAM. For, like, less than five bucks. LESS THAN FIVE BUCKS?! Into the cart it went.

So of course the suspense was killing me. I went home and shampooed with my Aussie Moist shampoo (which I also love), conditioned and detangled with my Tresemme Luxurious Moisture conditioner ( which I also love), 75 % t-shirt dried, and slathered this stuff on and sealed the deal with my oil mix. I pulled my hair into a puff to stretch and dry. I call this my lazy girl banding. Here is the result:

Yea, I know, you're thinkin, big deal, looks the same. But it doesn't. My hair has never had sheen like this. And it was SOOOOO soft.  But the kicker was when my Hubby got home. He took one look and asked how much oil I put in my hair. Poor thing. He knows nothing of the struggle, bless his heart. I told him to touch it. He said no. I insisted. He did. He says, "Hey its softer and there's no weird slime on my hands!"
Instead of deckin' him right there, I just took it as a compliment. In his own awkward way, he confirmed that my hair had sheen, was soft, and was not, ahem, "slimy" or oily.

So it's been a while since that afternoon, and I must say that this stuff lasts a loooong time, which is saying a lot considering my heavy handedness. It has worked like a dream for my low porosity strands. And it opened the way for me to introduce my Hubby to appropriate terms to use when we discuss hair. Slimy is NOT one of them, smh.

What's you fave new product?